A Feeling of a New Dimension.

A feeling of a new dimension. A new step in the transformation/refashioning of my brain and life.

Yesterday, Eva (who I met after 53 years) asked me for a collage of photos I have of us, covering 57 years. (See enclosure!). She was overwhelmed over the result and said that she could feel the memories down “into her marrow”. With the help of one of my Jewish favorites, Barbara Streisand, I also felt the 57 years as a memory-fusion, euphoria (New Latin, from Greek, from euphoros, healthy)   without intoxicating effects.

Today, after a long and relaxed day - driving back and forth to the Mediterranean - I came home, read Eva’s mail about the photo collage. My thought went to my pal in L.A. making all these new wealth of real feelings come true, and I decided to send a copy to him and thank him. However, I first decided to take a short, relaxed nap during the Spanish siesta. After an hour, I woke up having a feeling on it’s way. I decided to go with it. It turned out to be a new way to experience my birth feelings.

As always, the feeling involved pressure over my mouth, eyes and forehead going deep into my head. This time I had all these feelings being/feeling my fully adult body. The wordless feelings took place, but that I was feeling retarded to a baby’s body. I went through all the moments I usually do when I manage, fully, to feel, and the completion brought the deep repressed scream/cry that often explodes out of my throat and guts.

I normally recover within half an hour after my feelings. This time I recovered instantly after the final “death” cry. It is as my feelings have been allowed into my old, adult body, now less scaring than ever, more real and with a feeling of being easier to explain. One day my experiences should be the right of every woman and man!

Jan Johnsson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ruh0ewBVo&list=LPs-z409g1yak&index=4&feature=plcp