Memories From Here To Eternity…..

Memories From Here To Eternity…..

There are different types of memories and different versions of these memories. Operating / short term working memory, long term / life span memory, sensory memories, documented memories from notes to USB mass storage devices etc., etc. All of them can be dependent on / influenced by memories which early on were repressed by survival reasons. They were made unconscious due to an early trauma / unbearable pain. Therefore to re-live an early trauma and remember / re-experience the original pain makes many memory clusters change / able to interconnect and create access to a new depth and become conscious awareness. 

Blockages between different memory types and memory clusters can be resolved gradually and links between emotional and intellectual memories can be faster, straighter and less affected by neurotic act outs and influences. As a result of improved conscious awareness, which has happened to me, memories of previous unreal / neurotic "successes / achievements" become uncomfortable, make you feel ill at ease when they are no longer pain propelled. My experience is that this personal audit is like a mini Primal, which is accompanied by dissolution of a suffering that was the price for the neurotic success / performance.

In recent decades, I have with growing awareness / consciousness activated / exploited my short-term and long-time memories by re-living traumatic pain and practicing new skills. I have through Rolfing and The Primal Principle been aware of my sensory memory and I see the past years deep tissue massage as a crucial factor in my re-living of traumatic pain. During the past year, my awareness regarding sensory memories multiplied. This has been done by that I decided to learn to understand music and play the saxophone. 

There are three types of sensory memories. Iconic memory is a fast fading store of visual information. It is a type of sensory memory that briefly stores an image which has been perceived for a short duration. Echoic memory is a fast fading store of auditory information, a type of sensory memory that been perceived for small durations. Haptic memory  is a sensory memory that represents a database for touch stimuli. Daily, when I am practicing musical scales on my saxophone, it's my iconic and echoic memories I constantly put to the test when I build up the long term memory I need if I, eventually, want to be able to handle the saxophone to my own satisfaction.

"Practice makes perfect" and after half a year I start to get a first feeling for pitch, fingering, and rhythm. An insignificant step for a talented musician but a giant step for me. In addition, my saxophone trip reminds me constantly about the struggle / battles I fought during my epileptic journey. Many exciting memory clusters are formed that often leads to resolutions of subtle blockages. 

Today, in the morning, when I walked on the Mediterranean beach in Gandia and sang scales - "do-re-mi-fa-sol-la-si-si-la-sol-fa-mi-re-do" - and, imagined the associated fingering of notes I was suddenly interrupted by a strong, long term / sensory memory. I was suddenly on a beach in Hawaii in a film, “From here to eternity”, with Frank Sinatra, Burt Lancaster and Montgomery Clift which I saw in the mid-50s. It was Clifts sensible trumpet tap for his killed friend (played by Sinatra) that “brought me to Hawaii”. 

I stopped singing and could hear the mournful tones of Clift’s trumpet and I became 15 years old and felt my own sadness.

Jan Johnsson

PS
Art’s Reflections have for years served as a provocative reflection om my collective memory, both the conscious and the unconscious. It is not my memories / understanding of the Primal Principle / Evolution in Reverse that matters but the successive changes in my feelings, memories, and needs that Arts message has meant.

Arthur JanovJune 14, 2016 at 9:05 PM

Jan, interesting letter. I remember Clift too, a terribly tragic figure. As you know, I disagree with your general idea that Rolfing helps a lot. I had it done by Ida Rolfe’s associate and was not impressed. art keep up the sax. Are you listening to jazz?

My answer:

Art,

I'm sorry for your bad experience with Rolfing, which, like the PT is a natural treatment method against defects / repressions incurred in connection with traumas during, before and after the birth process. I was lucky, when I took a risk, to get good, though rough, treatment in Boulder, Col., 1979, and excellent, soft, treatment in Valencia 2009-10. I have since experienced how my friend Eva and my daughter Isabel, has felt great after being treated by my Rolfer in Valencia, Jordi (who combines being a professional musician with giving treatments in Rolfing).

Anyway thanks for your tolerance and for publishing my articles even though my hints of Rolfing. As you often point out; To live and let live.

In this context, I can reveal the following: In my inner emotional world, you represent my father and Ida Rolf represents my mother. Since both of my parents had time to realize their shortcomings associated with my birth and my upbringing and asked for forgiveness the "merger" between them, you and Ida Rolf is a natural evolution that has made it easier to re-live repressed pain. Add to that the outstanding luck I had throughout my process of change when I during four decades had access to you and your guidance and the Primal Principle / Evolution in Reverse. Four decades and one therapist /guide. Extremely unique. A remarkable experience that made my life meaningful.

I listen since several decades constantly to jazz, particularly with saxophone elements. Stan Getz was married to a girl from my home region and you might remember your Danish patient and "my" jazz singer Grethe, she lived for several years with Ben Webster in Copenhagen. These two and other classical saxophonists have long been represented among my old LP records. However, I have not until now, when I am trying to get the sound of my saxophone, begun to understand how big virtuous Charlie Parker was. He will get more time. His magical charisma, when he was at his best, reminded of another, now dead, black virtuous, Muhammad Ali. Both were pretty and could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, each one in his specialty. They changed the world. Like You!!!!!

Jan