Rolfing 4. (Dec. 15th, 2010)

Very early this morning (Dec. 16th) I woke up with tensions in my arms and legs. It was tensions af anesthesia and pressure from the birth process. I went with the feelings and during a couple of hours, I re-experienced and lived through how pressure and tension moved over the chest, the neck, the mouth, the nose and the front, and over again. In parallel a corresponding experience and movement took place throughout my arms and legs.

If I compare the level of pain today with my experiences from the mid 90ies I would say that it is a 2 compared to a 10. The Primal process is ending with that the head is pushed backwards, and the tongue is being rolled together and pushed down into the throat all while I am hyperventilating or not breathing at all for long periods. Often, but not always, the sequence when the head is being pushed backwards is followed by a cool dry cough before a baby’s cry is welling up from the bottom of my throat.

When Isabel and I were in town (Xátiva) yesterday and walked along the main

street and had fun, I suddenly went into an overwhelming feeling of being very small, and it was followed by a sudden crying sound that was pushed out of me. Un uninitiated neurologist had probably said that I had a petitmall seizure. However, it was by no means. It was a residual memory from the birth which popped up. Issa asked if it was a fit, but I was both conscious and in a beaming mood, so I said it was a birth primal and old crying, which never had been allowed to ascend. “That’s nice!” she said! She has more intuition and situation perception than almost all the therapists and neurologists whom I have met. (If her therapeutic action could be translated into professional soccer, she had on the spot got a profitable youth contract by some gifted talent scout.)

On my way to today’s Rolfingsession, the 4th out of 10, I had two themes on my mind:

NON VERBAL TREATMENTS

I’m thinking about how both The Primal Therapy and the Rolfing are non verbal treatments which have been fundamental to my success to turn epilepsy into birth primals. Both Art Janov and Ida Rolf have communicated that a pre birth trauma creates wordless memories in the brain and the body and cannot, successfully, be treated with the help of words, because the trauma is a physical or mental pain which has to be felt relived (Primal Therapy) or repaired by physical restructuring of the body.

These thoughts led to that my homeopath in the 90ies worked from the principal of the reverse evolution, e.g., the latest layer of traumas and neuroses must be decoded before the next layer, etc. until the rock bottom birth trauma can be relived and dissolved. My homeopath purged (by help of homeopathic medications of natural herbs) infections, which had accumulated in my body according to the same principle as the Primal Therapy,  last in, first out. (To be fair to homeopathy, they have used this principle for hundreds of years.) With the help of incredible small quantities of arnica the homeopath succeeded in to provoke the remainder of my unexploded chicken pox from the age of three. During less than two months I had two times complete shingles over my entire body, which I survived only after having been severely ill.

Both Ida Rolf and Art Janov prefer that their clients only stick to the therapy each of them represents. Ida Rolf preferred that her patiens keep to Rolfing and should let the body structuring and gravity constitute the basis for the self healing of the body and psyche and avoid picking various solutions from a “smorgasbord” of different treatments. Art Janov says that Rolfing may help, but pushes muscles to release tension without proper connection to the brain. 

ADD

My other speculation had it’s origin in Arts Refletion. Before I developed epilepsy at 19, I fulfilled all the demands for ADHD which AACAP thinks are necessary. However, when I was 3-19, hyperactive impulses still had not got their label (stigma). 1990 existed only in the USA 750.000 children with the diagnose ADD, 2010, there are 4.000.000 of which the majority is taking expensive prescription medications. It has turned into a billion dollar industry and no wonder I have read that in a PBS special it’s suggested the epidemic of ADD is man made.

My ADD symptoms were converted when I got epilepsy and was conditioned with Tegretol. The filter created by the medication against hyperactivity, and seizure was well correlated with my tremendous birth pain and kept me going in a more community-oriented and acceptable way. I could concentrate and finish my studies and later hold qualified positions. However, it was no long term solution, and I was working my way to an early death. With Tegretol against epilepsy and ADD I was no longer a nuisance to the surrounding. At least 4.000.000 kids are living on these conditions today and as Art says  we don’t know the reason for most of them and the experts don’t even ask why. It will get worse before it is getting better. The ever ongoing international power shift and restructuring are acceleranting.

ROLFING SESSION

Today’s Rolfing session was mainly about my legs and arms. How I move them and how I still lack the necessary ability to relax my joints and to take steps when I walk, which are long, broad enough and with a full extension of my heel tendons and my toes. By doing a simple exercise I realized that my hands and feet don’t count in my brain. They are non existent and to compensate my arm and leg movements, I tense up the upper parts of my legs and arm. However, trying a weight of 1 pound around my arm- and foot wrists, I could feel that I have booth hands and feet, and I could suddenly walk and move hands and feet in a way, which felt natural and great.

My feeling from this morning primals came to my memory, and I realized that I have never regained my full sensation in hands and feet. After massage / movement of the fascia it was as if the brain accepted that I have feet even when I quit the weights. Fascinating! I talked with Jordi about my crying sounds when we worked on my hands and feet, and I prepared him for surprises of baby cries not only from his newborn son. When I said it I got a brief feeling, like a cut in the throat, of how the extremities, to protect me, push down feelings, which want to ascend through my throat.

Jan Johnsson