Do I have any advice? (Article 30 of the history of my epilepsy.)

After a successful struggle with epilepsy, it might be tempting to make a long list of suggestions to others that want to get out of a similar dilemma. Of course, I have opinions, but they are not easy to implement in reality. To eliminate or alleviate epilepsy require a complex description of many different conditions. To make a short list of advice is like making a DVD presentation of 20-40 minutes trying to explain my psychotherapy experience that lasted 40 years. It becomes a one-dimensional part description. What seems advantageous when described from one side may be counterproductive from another angel.

A rigid plan can short term be extremely powerful, but will also require a willingness and aptitude to adapt the approach as one gain access to repressed pain and eventually got rid of neurotic behaviors. My own course of action has gradually gone through continuous developments and adaptations to new realities. My needs and practices have in many respects changed. This has also modified the arsenal of tools, training efforts and mental crutches that I surrounded myself with. 

This has meant an exciting and ever ongoing evaluation. Outwardly, this may create an unpredictable impression which especially in the beginning can be difficult, but it is part of a relief and recovery process. In general, there exist a common evolutionary system in the big context. However, all neurotics and epileptics have their personal "fingerprints" from an etiological point of view, and each specification of advice and support need its own unique blend. 

The hardest part is not to understand the importance of recommendations and suggestions and not to realize that they need flexibility and adjustments. The difficulty is usually to get the local environment, families, friends and other influential contacts to accept a novel and flexible lifestyle, and as if this is not enough one have to fight one's own neurotic behavior, which can be more unreasonable than a hostile mother in law. A skeptical reaction from a conservative surrounding combined with pain and anxiety-driven neuroses are why much excellent advice on nutrition, physics and avoidance of stimulants, etc. are not already a widespread success. Free will is a tiny bit of the fact we are extremely largely controlled by unconscious forces, according to Dr Janov.

It is not my ambition to give advice; however, this does not stop me from telling a few examples of what has worked well for me for decades. Like my epilepsy, they do not always follow the dictionary, but I have developed and used them as inspiration and demand have coincided. They have been a part of my epileptic journey and have been as entertaining as my psycho therapeutic part. Silly mistakes and pleasant experiences have spiced my journey, and I have provided mind and body with about equal doses.

The oldest of my recipes to keep the mental pain and anxiety at bay has been to try to eat things that made me feel good, and, which was not seizure-inducing. Fresh fruits and vegetables have dominated, nothing unusual with other words. During long periods, over 50 years, freshly squeezed lemon juice, carrot juice and garlic have been on the menu in combination with the season's other fruits and berries depending on availability. The first three are cheap and easy to get but not always appreciated by the immediate surroundings. Garlic caused problems that I often was not willing to acknowledge, and two incidents over the years meant that I did take long rests in the consumption.

The first occurred in 1972 when I took the night train from Malmö to Stockholm. Hundred kms north, a colleague would join in Osby, and we would split sleeper. My friend had trouble finding the sleeper car and got help from the conductor to look. Suddenly, during their walk through the train my friend felt a sharp smell of garlic and knew immediately that here I was. After having understood the impact that garlic could have, then I made a few years' break. Next time I was made aware of the Swedish anti-garlic shock effect was exactly 30 years later, this time at a Christmas concert. When I found my place in the auditorium, a woman seated just behind me exclaimed loudly: "If that mother fucker is going to sit in front of me throughout the show then I'm leaving!" However, I stayed and longed to Spain, where the garlic smell has perfume status. Otherwise, when it comes to food, I have followed the principle that 1-2 sumptuous meals a week is acceptable if the other 20-21 meals consist mainly of fruits and vegetables.

Number two of my anti pain and anti tension tools have been physical exercise and massage. From a survival point of view, my bodily exercises do end up on the top. Over the past 47 years, I have not missed many exercises with my dumbbells and doing push-up. These exercises I have done regularly since August 23rd, 1963. As my neuroses have dissolved and my age put new limits, I pulled the push-ups from 2 x 125 on my fingertips, to 2 x 20 on the palms. Nowadays, I walk 40 minutes with Puskas in the hills around Genovés instead of jogging in the hills in northern Helsingborg and playing golf. Depending on the mood, I can combine and enjoy the use of a vibrating machine, rubber hoses, a step-up-machine and a Power ball made for outer space. Maintaining motivation is vital! It should be fun and enjoyable to practice!

I have in previous chapters told about Rolfing, the deep tissue massage, I went through in Boulder, Col., United States. Rolfing of this profound nature, I could not get in Sweden so, for many years, I invited myself to a session with a traditional physiotherapist. What I undergo every day and have done since my years in LA 78 and 79 is a treatment of Zone therapy. For some years, I got help when I was not able to access the reflex points in my feet. The last 15 years, I have switched to using massage soles that are extremely helpful and will replace all need for Zone therapists at a rate that is laughable low.

Over many years, perhaps too many, I ate Tegretol, which I unofficially regard as a rat poison, so of course the brain became slow and viscous and becoming aware of that I have started a memory training and Asian finger gymnastics, so the brain would not doze off entirely. Since I am an old and scarred veteran, I was around in Mary Poppins’ days and remember when she sang ”supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”, or the other way around ”dociousaliexpillisticfragicalirupus”, which were terrific memory exercises. They lead to other long words like ”floccinausinihilipilification”, which was the longest word in the Oxford Dictionary until ”pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis” took over as the longest word. Long words may scare someone and keep them away from these memory exercises, so there's a word for fear of long words: ”hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliofobia”. On the Internet, there is said to be a club for people with this disorder...

Another of my treatments for several years has been to improve my ability to write down my feelings and capture the moods I experience. This is a matter of speed, access to verbal expressions, which I get from much reading and much practice. The speed I need to capture memories while feeling remains in the brain before the memory clusters dissolve. If I had known earlier, what I know today, I had taken these exercises more seriously already 50 years ago. It gives an immense self-satisfaction of getting to know myself and my reactions and emotions. I had noticed that the only way to recall a memory, coming close to the true feeling, is if I later can read what I immediately wrote down when it happened. 

Learn to love what You do!