Wednesday, October 28, 2015

To Be Able To Cure Or Not To Be Able To Cure, That Is A Primal Question.

Janov's Reflections on the Human Condition

October 28, I wrote to Art Janov:

I wonder if you still have the film French television made 25-30 years ago, and if I might buy a copy of that recording?  The film shows how, especially on my forehead, lots of blue-black bruises reappeard.
In tens of bloggs I have described how I relived my birthtrauma and the subsequent and fabolous aftereffects, which not only demystified my epilepsy but cured me and profoundly changed my feelings and my behaviour as my neuroses and blockages dissolved (no longer were needed). (Tens of thousands have read my blogs and especially the russians are intreseted in them.)
To describe my journey in a short video may be intresting but it will never give a true and complete picture. I ow myself, you and The Primal Principle a re-writing of my book "Evolution in Reverse / How I demystified my Epilepsy".

October 28, Art Janov wrote:

I think it is great.  Are you writing the book now?  Did you indeed cure the epilepsy? art

October 28, I answered:


If any of your patiens ever got long-term cured, I was one of them!

Since cured has important components of time, evolution (in reverse!) and duration I will add the following to make clear what I mean when I say that I am cured:

During 35 years, since January 1980, I have had primals. If these primals, gradually, little by little, reliving a complex longlasting and horrific trauma in the birth channel had not happened (over 30 years) they had turned into grand mal and petit mal seizures. (During the 80ies you participated in at least 2 of my dramatic primals, one of which, with bruises reappearing all over my forhead, were filmed by French television).

After having decided to drop my career  in the mid 90ies I quit all medications (Tegretol/Carbamazepine). I spent 2 satanical but revolutionary years when I “entered” my epilepsy and found myself in the borderland between grandmal seizures and primals. That meant eventually less seizures and more primals. Finally primals became a habit and my few seizures had now the character of petit mal seizures. I could not only “lay back and feel the stab of anxiety” and go into a primal when I was awake, but I could also have dramatic dreams when I could decide to go into a primal. During such a primal I became awake, or rather there was, during the primal, no difference between dream and wakefulness. Over the last 4-5 years I have only in few occasions had to go into a primal. That has happened, for example, when a special, surpricing and dramatic event has brought up a repressed memory.

If my tensions and anxiety were channeled into primals there were no need for epileptic seizures. During the last 20 years my lifepattern has changed and my earlier neurotic drive faded away as I relived my imprint/pain and I stopped working myself into impossible situations. I could suddenly feel that I had limits and needed to rest and relax and allow myself to be lazy. It seems that my epilepsy was an evolutionary quick way to save my brain and life. My former employers considered me to be without inhibitions. I went on fighting until I fell (read: got epilepsy).

Yes Art, I am cured from epilepsy. It has meant reliving pain which has lead to a modified lifepattern; less struggling, more feelings. I have less urge to do the impossible. My main motivations to put it all together over 35 years are easily identifiable: To cure myself, The Primal Principle, your charisma and your unhesitating conviction, my daughter Isabel and my childhood love Eva.

Compared to many patients I have been blessed by an identifiable problem. I come from an economically and socially priotitized part of the world. I have been able to function and develop an exciting career. Although my judgement has been neurotically driven, I’ve been able to make good and important decisions. I have had the crucial support of resource-rich, knowledeable and sympathetic people (including yourself). Last but not least, I had two parents who finally realized and admitted their wrongdoing.

Even though I have cured my variant of epilepsy, it is a seemingly hopeless task to transfer my experience to other epileptics.

Your confident

October 28, Art Janov wrote:


Janov's Reflections on the Human Condition: