Posts
(Click to access!)
My comment:
It Takes Two To Tango... ...to do the dance of love!
My first half of my life I used to suffer from and to further repress, my birth trauma. The other second half of my life I have been trying to relive my imprinted pain. Eventually, after repeatedly having made two steps forward and one backward (or vice versa), I have felt so much that my life has changed. My gates occasionally still may leak memories from my nasty entrance into this world. However, after 4 decades “lying back and feeling the stab of anxiety” I need to fill my life with what I have been missing during half a century. This need is especially urgent since my young daughter by one, for both of us, stimulating childhood, is growing into her own life, coordinating her own “tangos”.
In Primal Therapy, I tangoed with Dr. Janov, who guided me into “Evolution in Reverse” to relive my pain. I assimilated the process that my organism, and time, required to correct / cure / heal all the neurotic reactions that ruled and dominated my life pattern. Eventually, my feeling brain now can tango with my intellectual brain and my lower imprints / feelings can join their other half in the nervous system to form an integrated unified circuit.
Two very old memories / imprints have a determining influence on the life I now am building with sober enthusiasm. First, the fact that my brain (though not fully developed) received positive imprints and memories of vital importance from my dramatic and complicated birth process has been vital. I survived and had intuitively learned to survive. Second, I had memories from adolescence, of a contemporary girl, which affected me for life. So after 53 years I decided to re-establish a contact to the girl, I had admired respectfully as a restless teenager. A deterministic (= “the philosophical doctrine that every human event, act, decision is the inevitable consequence of antecedent states of affairs”) decision without precedent in either her or my life. During our first meeting over Skype, we were completely obsessed with trying to compress 53 years of history into a two hour call.
We thought maybe it was a one-off, but it has remained so every day for more than a year. It is certainly a good background to have relived a lot of repressed pain, having tried many aspects of life, being old and careful with the limited time that remains of our lives. Then needs to act and pretend turn insignificantly. Surprise, all the need of love, attention and care that a newborn baby needs is still there. Although we have hold a PhD in being repressed, we have retained our original highly sensitive reactions. Maybe our nervous systems react with a delay of a few tenths of a second... This healthy life only has one major drawback. Time flies.
May I suggest “Life before Birth” is followed by “Life after Primal Retirement”?
Jan Johnsson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4iMNrwGBbQ
Arthur JanovFebruary 16, 2013 at 3:56 AM
Jan: That is a book You need to write; remember how old I am? art
