Rolfing 10. (Febr. 17th, 2011). Conclusion.

I have over three months (Nov 19th 2010 - Febr. 17th 2011) been through my 10 Rolfing sessions. I have during these months been aware of many things. In general I have for more than 30 years could feel that my psyche and body are interacting. I have for a life time carried effects of my lengthy and painful birth process, which developed a first line imprint which later has evolved into second and third lines manifestations or to be more specific developed into epilepsy and physical blockages and neurotic activities as my body  grew and the intellectual part of my brain over the years expanded.

In my endless search over decades for solutions I have been specifically attached to two techniques to live my pain, Primal Therapy and Rolfing. The impacts and effects of the two have interacted over the years. Rolfing, in the way it took place 30 years ago, blew all my defenses away and took me to a position to live birth primals, where my knowledge of Primal Therapy (understanding that the way out of repressed pain is to feel / live it) and the use of Tegretol saved me. After I, during many years, have lived and felt tremendous amounts of the pain and terror during my birth, I have very little need of neurotic / compulsive filters and actions and after having been through several traumatic primals how my life has been propelled by abnormal, humiliating behavior to kill pain of the similar magnitude. Today I am driven by more realistic day to day needs.

However, to avoid feeling my imprinted pain, over the years, during my efforts to survive and function, my fascia has directed and constricted my muscles in an instinctive, protective way that has blocked my body (and psyche) in positions which over time have been fixed to my bones and in different ways crippled me. Furthermore, I have over the last few years as a consequence of my need for less neurotic protection, been aware of the uselessness of building muscles and strength and instead started to look for an extension of the mental relaxation which has come as an impact of that much of the pain from my birth has been lived and dissolved.

To release reflexes established in the fascia and muscles since many decades it requires a technique of a special format. Rolfing, with its gravity principle and its rearrangement of the fascia, has meant a new step towards a further liberation from my prison of pain.

Four areas of behavior won’t be the same after my 10 Rolfing sessions; My breathing, my walking, my posture and my physical exercises.

I will, in stead of an abdominal (associated with the parasympathetic nervous system) breathing, through my posture and by a new way of walking,  carefully try to direct my breathing towards a dominance of thoracic breathing.

My walking will feel and look totally different. In stead of tip toeing, I will use the whole leg and the whole foot, stretching the heel and extending the leg and “breathe” through the foot sole and end the step by using the big toe actively.

My body will be better able to search the position of optimal gravity. I will walk straighter. (Not only from a physical perspective). My shoulders and arms will make less efforts to tense my posture, which means better breathing, more economical movements and my thinking will eventually lose its tendency to become rigid and protective of historic reasons. 

My physical exercises will take time to develop. I will find drills in which extending, opening up joints and muscles all will improve, confirm a better equilibrium.

During these three months, I have learned that when my body is in balance, I feel strong and relaxed. When my muscles are pumped up, I may look strong, I don’t feel strong and I’m certainly not relaxed.

Jan Johnsson